Your Sources of Success
When in Doubt, Communicate!
Whole World Stinks
Are You Introverted or Extroverted?
Your Sources of Success
Everything you want in life requires the support or cooperation of another individual. Your success depends on people. Objects do not make you successful.

For example, real estate will not make you wealthy. It's the people who rent or buy your real estate who make you wealthy.

Your job does not make you wealthy. It's the people who buy things or services from your company's owners. The owners then give you your pay.

A business does not succeed because you have a beautiful office space or a brilliant plan. It succeeds because people will buy your product or service. It succeeds because the staff do their work. People make you wealthy and successful.

How you influence people is what makes you successful.

So how can you make people do what you want them to do?

"There is an interesting phenomenon* at work in human relations. When one person yells at another, the other has an impulse to yell back. One is pretty much the way he treats others: one actually sets an example of how he should be treated. A is mean to B so B is mean to A. A is friendly to B so B is friendly to A." - The Way to Happiness by L. Ron Hubbard (* phenomenon = an observable fact.)

If you are blunt with people, they will be blunt with you. If you cheat people, they will try to cheat you. If you push them down, they will push you down.

Fortunately, the opposite is true. If you are honest with people, they are honest with you. If you push them up, they push you up. If you support enough of them, you'll get the support you need.

"When one is lucky enough to get to meet and talk to the men and women who are at the top of their professions, one is struck by an observation often made that they are just about the nicest people you ever met. That is one of the reasons they are at the top: they try, most of them, to treat others well."

"Now what do you suppose would happen if one were to try to treat those around him with justness, loyalty, good sportsmanship, fairness, honesty, kindness, consideration, compassion, self-control, tolerance, forgivingness, benevolence, belief, respect, politeness, dignity, admiration, friendliness, love, and did it with integrity*?

"It might take a while but don't you suppose that many others would then begin to try to treat one the same way?" - The Way to Happiness by L. Ron Hubbard (* integrity = sticking to one's principles.)

What should you do if you want to be a big success? How do you want others to treat you? Here are five suggestions.

1. Make a list of everyone who influences you. Everyone you depend on. Everyone who can make you successful.

2. List all the ways you want these people to treat you. For example, supportive, generous, kind, interested, honest, cooperative, friendly, patient and so on. Make a complete list of characteristics you want from others.

3. Rate yourself on a scale of 1-5 for each of these characteristics.

4. Each day, work to improve one or more of these characteristics in yourself. Treat all of those people you made in the first list the same way you want them to treat you.

5. Persist for a few months and watch the results!

When in Doubt, Communicate!
You may remember being told as a child, "Keep quiet!" "Children should be seen, not heard," and "You talk too much." You were a "good" kid if you kept quiet. However, being quiet when you are little causes big problems later in life.

As an adult, you may have been punished for communicating. For example, if you admit you committed a crime and are sorry about it, no one cares. You still go to jail. If you honestly tell your spouse you are thinking about an affair, your marriage suffers if your spouse is not very understanding. If you tell someone you feel a little crazy, who knows what might happen. So you learn to keep your mouth shut.

However, businesses fail when managers do not talk to employees or employees do not talk to customers. Everyone mistakenly believes telepathy is working. "I thought you knew I was unhappy with your performance." "You should have known I was overworked."

Marriages are ruined by poor communication. Rather than openly discuss sex, money, body problems or whatever, couples hint about their concerns or simply say nothing. But without support and understanding from your primary teammate, you do not go as far. In fact, a bad marriage can ruin everything in your life. Both parties in a successful marriage are able to give and receive communication from their spouse on any subject.

Life is miserable if you have no one to openly communicate with. Friendships are based on communication. The lack of friends or a spouse to communicate with often leads to mental problems.

So the first communication skill you need is to get out there and talk.

Unfortunately, on some topics, you've learned to watch what you say, to keep it under your hat, to zip it up.

"So that is the basic lesson that anybody learns in this universe. They learn to keep their mouth shut, and it's the wrong lesson. When in doubt, talk. When in doubt, communicate." - L. Ron Hubbard

Whenever you have doubts about something, COMMUNICATE! Talk, talk, talk until the problem resolves. When you feel stress, disagreement or resistance between you and someone near you, the wrong thing to do is ignore the problem. Instead, start communicating.

When you know you should say something, say it! For example, an employee knows another employee is embezzling money and so says something to the employee and/or boss. A doctor knows he must talk to a about the patient's rude behavior to the office staff. An employer knows she must discuss poor performance issues with some employees.

Take the bull by the horns. Move ahead in life. Spit it out.

If you're worried about the consequences of saying something, you can ask first. Examples:

"Lisa, I want to say something about your driving to help keep you out of accidents, but I don't want to upset you. Can I tell you what I think or should I keep my mouth shut?"

"Boss, should I tell you if I think you are giving me bad advice?"

"John, our marriage means so much to me I don't want to say anything that would jeopardize it. But I have done something wrong and I'm sorry I did it. I think it would be good for our relationship if I told you. Don't you think it's best if we are 100% honest with each other?"

"Can you listen to something unfortunate I have to say and remain calm? Are you ready?"

In the long run, you are always better off by communicating. Take responsibility and talk. Staying silent solves nothing.
The Whole World Stinks
While Grandpa is taking a nap on the couch, his seven-year-old grandson gets some Limburger cheese from the refrigerator and smears it on Grandpa’s mustache.

When grandpa wakes up, he says, "This room stinks!" He goes to another room and says, "This room stinks." After walking throughout the house, he says, "The whole house stinks!"

Grandpa goes outside and takes a deep breath and says, "The whole world stinks!"

Your attitude about life does the same thing.

Examples

1. Your marriage is not going well. You go to a movie and notice how nobody smiles. Couples seem to be bored with each other. The movie’s happy ending seems phony.

2. Someone’s nasty comment at work makes your head feel like exploding with anger. While driving home, everyone seems aggressive and rude. You drive like a dangerous, insane maniac. You think about gun ownership.

3. You watch the news on television for a few hours and feel uneasy. You go outside and look at airplanes as possible threats. You suspect your neighbor might be a bad guy. You jump out of your skin when a kid yells, “Bang!”

4. Your business just made a healthy profit this month. You celebrate at a restaurant where the food tastes great and the waitress is cheerful. When you go outside, the sunset looks glorious. Everyone seems to be smiling.

Why Life Changes

In an article “Is it Possible to Be Happy?” L. Ron Hubbard writes:

You remember when you were maybe five years old, and you went out in the morning and you looked at the day, and it was a very, very beautiful day, and you looked at the flowers and they were very beautiful flowers.

Twenty-five years later you get up in the morning, you take a look at the flowers—they are wilted. The day isn’t a happy day.

Well, what has changed? You know they are the same flowers, it’s the same world, something must have changed.

Probably it was you.”

Actually, a little child derives all of his pleasure in life from the grace he puts upon life. He waves a magic hand and brings all manner of interesting things into being out in the society. Here is this big, strong brute of a man riding his iron steed, up and down, and boy, he'd like to be a cop. Yes sir! He would sure like to be a cop; and twenty-five years later he looks at that cop riding up and down and checks his speedometer and says, 'Doggone these cops!'

"Well, what is changed here? Has the cop changed? No. Just the attitude toward him. One's attitude toward life makes every possible difference in one's living. You know you don't have to study a thousand ancient books to discover that fact. But sometimes it needs to be pointed out again that life doesn't change so much as you."

The day when you stop building your own environment, when you stop building your own surroundings, when you stop waving a magic hand and gracing everything around you with magic and beauty, things cease to be magical, things cease to be beautiful.”
Add Some Magic to Your Life

Clear out the smell of Limburger cheese and make your life more enjoyable with this exercise.

1. Look around you. Notice your immediate surroundings in present time. Focus on where you are.

2. Think of a way you can make your environment a little more comfortable. Write it down.

3. Think of a way you can make your environment a little more cheerful. Write it down.

4. Think of a way you can make your environment a little more beautiful. Write it down.

5. Do these three things.

6. Repeat as needed until your attitude and the world around you improves.
Are You Introverted or Extroverted?
Are You Introverted or Extroverted?

In his book, The Problems of Work, Mr. Hubbard writes:

"Introversion is a simple thing. It means looking in too closely. And extroversion is also a simple thing. It means nothing more than being able to look outward.

"It could be said that there are introverted personalities and extroverted personalities. An extroverted personality is one who is capable of looking around the environment. An introverted personality is only capable of looking inward at himself." (LRH)

This explains why vacations are so much fun! You travel to a new location and look at mountains, buildings or oceans, for a change. Your attention goes outward and you become extroverted!

The type of stress a vacation relieves is introversion. Your attention has become too focused inward. You feel exhausted, mentally drained and overwhelmed.

This is how we become introverted.

* We read papers and reports at work, then go home and read newspapers and books.

* We stare at a computer screen all day, then go home and stare at a TV screen all night.

* We give instructions or orders at work, then go home and drive our spouse and kids crazy with instructions or orders.

Take a Walk

"When one feels tired on finishing his work, no matter if the thought of doing so is almost all that he can tolerate without falling through the floor, he should go out and walk around the block until he feels rested." (LRH)

Do you ever feel too tired to sleep? Take a walk-you'll feel relaxed and sleepy.

Want a drink, an unhealthy snack or a cigarette, even though you shouldn't? Take a walk and the urge will go away!

Can't get your mind off your problems or a fear? Take a walk and get extroverted. Your problems or fears will become easier to deal with.

Give it a try! Walk around your neighborhood or a park. Feel the air, look at the sky, listen to the birds, wake up your senses, focus on the present. Take a mini-vacation until you feel relaxed and optimistic.

If you cannot get outside, walk around your home or yard. Touch and feel the textures of objects. Find something new to look at. Keep putting your attention on your surroundings until you relax and feel better.

Domestic Violence

If you or someone near you is feeling violent, you now know a solution.

"If one feels antagonistic toward one's wife, the wrong thing to do is to beat her. The right thing to do is to go out and take a walk around the block until one feels better, and make her walk around the block in the opposite direction until an extroversion from the situation is achieved." (LRH)

The next time you feel burned-out, angry, upset or sad, follow this simple advice: take a walk and extrovert your attention.

When you see someone is introverted, stressed out or out of control, take him or her for a walk until he or she feels better.

This works every time.

For information on the book The Problems of Work, go to
www.tipsforsuccess.org/problems-of-work.htm
Copyright © 2003 TipsForSuccess.org. All rights reserved. Grateful acknowledgment is made to L. Ron Hubbard Library for permission to reproduce selections from the copyrighted works of L. Ron Hubbard. Programmed in the United States.