Taking Control [Part Two]
Taking Control, [Part Four]
Taking Control, [Part Five]
Taking Control [Part Two]
Control Consists of Three Parts: Start, Change and Stop

"Control consists entirely of starting, changing and stopping. There are no other factors in positive control. If one can start something, change its position in space or existence in time and stop it, all at will, he can be said to control it, whatever it may be. If one can barely manage to start something, can only with difficulty continue its change of position or existence in time and if one can only doubtfully stop something, he cannot be said to control it well, and for our purposes he would be said to be able to control it poorly or dangerously. If he cannot start something, if he cannot change its position in space, if he cannot stop something, then he is definitely not in control of it." -- L. Ron Hubbard

Starting, Changing and Stopping Others

If you are in a management position or a parent, you know how difficult it is to control others. Yet when you control people properly, they admire and respect you.

People feel satisfied when you control them properly. You start them, allow them to make the change and then stop them when they are finished.

"Jill, please bring me the red pen . . ." (Start) ". . . and put it right there." (Change) "Thank you very much." (Stop)

People get upset when you mess up any of the three points.

For example, if a business does not start its employees by telling them when they should start, people just start work when they get around to it. The late starters irritate the prompt starters. Some might not start at all. The business is a messy confusion.

As well as not telling people when to start, they get upset if you prevent them from starting.

"We'll have that new computer any day. You just need to be patient and wait."

"We want to hire you, but I'm not sure when you can start. Maybe days, maybe months . . ."

"Your home loan has been approved, but the money can't be distributed for a while."

So if you want to control a group or an individual, you need to give a clean "START" and then let them get on with it. "Arrive by 7:55 AM each day, punch in your time card, be at your desk at 8:00 AM and start working."

Once you start someone, you create problems if you prevent the change portion of the cycle. For example, you tell one of your staff members, "Dave, please sweep up this room."

Just as he gets out the broom, you say, "Dave, you need to file these papers right now."

After he files a few papers, you say, "Hurry Dave, go get me a box!"

You earn better cooperation if you let people complete the change without interruption.

"Dave, please sweep up this room."

"That looks very good, thank you."

"Dave, now file these papers."

"All done? Very good."

"Now please get a box for these files."

"Thank you."

If you must interrupt the person, give him or her priorities. "Dave, I know I told you to sweep up the room, but that'll have to wait. Right now, I really need these papers filed so I can ship the files."

The final mistake you can make when controlling people is not stopping them. For example, you fail to notice they are done and do not acknowledge them for finishing. If you do not stop people, they may tend to keep working on the project indefinitely.

"You swept up the room very well."

"The files look good, thank you."

Thanks, that box will be fine."

If you don't stop the cycle, you lose control. By cleanly stopping the cycle, you complete your control on that matter. People are now open to your next cycle of control. You are in charge.

When people discover that you cleanly start, change and stop them, you can ask and obtain more and more from them. You can issue complicated instructions, long lists of tasks and long-term projects. They feel comfortable with your control as they know you will let them complete the work and acknowledge them when they are done.

Some people believe you need to use fear, force or threats to control people. The government and certain institutions get a bad reputation for using fear and threat. This type of control makes you feel like you are a slave.

A business manager runs into trouble when he tries the same type of control. His or her employees revolt!

Fortunately, you will find that using the information in this article will put you in much better control than fear, force or threats. Simply start, change and stop people, cheerfully, cleanly and consistently.

Exercise

1. Write down the name of someone you want to control.

2. Write what end result you want the person to accomplish.

3. Plan how you will

A. Start him or her

B. Allow or direct the needed changes or activities

C. Bring him or her to a stop

4. Finally, you follow the steps of your plan.

Example:

1. You want to control your 10-year-old son, Joey. He throws a tantrum every time you tell him to clean his room.

2. You want Joey to clean up his room when you ask and without any drama.

3. A. You will get him to start by agreeing on a time to start. "Joey, in 10 minutes, I'd like you to start cleaning up your room. Is that okay with you?"

3. B. You will direct the change part of the cycle by watching and helping, as needed. "You're doing a good job Joey. Let's look under the bed now . . . "

3. C. You acknowledge his good work. "Joey, that is a really clean room! You deserve a cookie for that!"

4. You then follow your plan. Joey calms down, cleans his room and gets his cookie.

Example:

1. The only person who understands your computer is also a jerk. Russ is constantly complaining about your equipment, your poor understanding of computers and your staff's inability to operate the system correctly.

He says things like, "I can't believe you guys messed this up again!" "If you took a minute to read the manual, I wouldn't have to stop what I was doing to fix this." "When are you going to replace this piece-of-crap computer?"

2. The end result that you want is that Russ does his job and leaves you alone.

3. A. You decide on ways to get Russ to start things. "Russ, instead of showing up sometime this week, can you come at 10:30 on Wednesday?" "Before you start, I need to talk to you." "Okay, Russ. Go ahead and get started."

3. B. You plan on how to change Russ during the cycle. "Russ, here, have a donut." "Russ, I know our equipment is old and we don't know what we're doing. Would you mind talking about something else?"

3. C. You plan on how to stop Russ. "Russ, can you stop for a minute and show me where that feature is in the manual?" "Russ, can you finish by noon as we need to lock up the office." "Russ, you did a great job. I'll take it from here. Thanks."

4. You implement your plan with Russ. At first, he is resistive to your control. But you persist and gain small pieces of control until you are successfully starting, changing and stopping Russ. You are soon in control of the relationship.

So start your list. Who would you like to control?
Taking Control, Part Four
If You Try to Control People or Things Outside Your Sphere of Operation,
You Fail

"However, control in itself is not an entire answer to everything, for if it were one would have to be able to control everything, not only in his own job, but in an office or on earth, before he could be happy. We discover in examining control that the limits of control should be extended only across one's actual sphere of operation. When an individual attempts to extend control far beyond his active interest in a job or in life he encounters difficulty."

"Thus there is obviously another factor involved than control. This factor is willingness not to control and is fully as important as control itself." -- L. Ron Hubbard from The Problems of Work

Parents, bosses, spouses, colleagues or co-workers sometimes try to control you beyond their sphere of operation. For example, when parents try to control your beliefs, your career choices or your marriage, you might feel upset.

When the manager of Department A tries to control employees in Department B, problems come up. As long as he sticks to controlling his sphere of operation, which is Department A, all is well.

You may have felt overwhelmed in the past when you tried to control something that was not part of your sphere of operation. If it is not your responsibility, why bother?

For example, a business owner was overwhelmed and stressed out. His consultant, who uses L. Ron Hubbard's material, had him list all the things he was concerned about.

Business income was down

● The roof was leaking in the office building

● His son was having problems at college in another state

● His community club meetings were irregular

● His quarterly taxes were late

The client was trying to fix all of these problems, but without success.

The consultant pointed out only the first problem was in his sphere of operation. His income was low because he was not spending much time working. All the other problems were outside his zone.

The landlord had scheduled a roofer.

The son was twenty years old and now on his own.

While the client was the former president of his community club, he no longer was in charge. He was just a member.

The accountant was negotiating a deal with the Internal Revenue Service and didn't feel the client needed to pay the overdue tax.

While it would be wonderful if the client could control all of these problems, he needed to change his mind and let others control them.

As soon as he realized this, he relaxed. He focused on his income and soon solved the first problem.

The landlord installed the new roof.

He started to treat his son as an adult who could take care of himself. His son realized he was responsible for his own success, good or bad, and started doing better in college.

He quit the club, to his great relief.

His accountant eventually solved the IRS problem.

Sometimes people try to make you control things outside your zone of operation. You must refuse.

For example, someone asks you for a loan to pay his bills. You say, "While I'm sorry you can't pay your bills, I'm not going to pay them for you. You need to solve this yourself."

Your sister sees your grandson watching television during a family gathering and tells you to go turn off the TV. You say, "I agree my grandson shouldn't watch so much TV, but he's my daughter's son, not mine."

Your boss asks you to go fix the sales problem with another department. You say, "Even though I'm the domestic sales manager, I'll be happy to fix the international sales department . . . if you promote me to Vice President of Worldwide Sales."

Recommendations

1. Make a list of areas in your life that are difficult for you to control.

2. Make another list of things that bother you.

3. Circle items on both list that are outside your sphere of operation.

4. Decide if you are willing to not try to control them.

5. Stop trying to control them. Instead, work on the things you can control on your two lists above.

For example, a coworker slurps his coffee each morning. It drives you crazy! You drop hints and make jokes, but he still slurps away. The stress is unbearable.

You realize the coworker's noise is outside your sphere of operation and stop all efforts to make him stop slurping. You focus on your job instead. You soon realize don't care about the slurping noise any longer. No more stress!
Taking Control, Part Five
To Succeed, You Must Let Others Control You at Times

"Control is so far from being bad that a person who is sane and in very good condition does not resent good, positive control and is himself able to administer* good, positive control to people and objects. A person who is not in very good condition resents even the most casual directions and is actually not capable of controlling people or objects. The latter person is also inefficient and has many difficulties with work and with life.

"When a person cannot control things or when he resists things controlling him he involves himself with difficulties not only with people but with objects. It is also apparent that people with control difficulties more readily become ill and fail in other ways." -- L. Ron Hubbard (*administer: provide, dispense, give)

How do you feel when people give you orders or directions?

For example, if you are a business owner or executive, you may need to let your staff control your time. They must set appointments and control where you go and who you see. If you don't let them control your time, you can become overwhelmed and inefficient.

Let's say Joe asks his wife to handle the family finances. Yet when she tries to control Joe's spending, he argues about it. He spends the money however he likes despite his wife's efforts to control spending.

The couple's credit goes bad. They constantly fight. They blame money problems for their marriage problems when the real problem is with Joe's inability to be controlled.

You see examples of this inability to be controlled every day. A young man leaves the Army because he hates being bossed around. He tries to work at a car dealership, but leaves because he hates being bossed around. He fails at several other jobs as he hates control. He can't even stand driving a truck as shippers want to control him. He prefers the "freedom" of homelessness and dies of alcoholism.

More often, a person's inability to accept control is simple resistance. You might feel a reactive irritation or anger when someone tries to control you. You can think being controlled is a sign of weakness or failure. You see no benefit to being controlled.

Once you decide to accept help from someone, the next step is to let them control you.

For example, a patient needs help with her bad teeth and lets the dentist control her dental care. A failing basketball player needs help with his shooting and lets his coach control his practice routine. A business owner with low profit accepts help from a consultant and lets the consultant guide his actions.

If the person who is controlling you also knows how to use control, as described in these five articles, YOU succeed.

Positive control is not forced on you. You trust that the person wishes you success, not harm. You know his or her control is for your benefit.

Positive control from others can improve all parts of your life. For example, a good accountant controls you to stay on the right side of the tax laws. If you are a professional singer, your agent controls you to improve your income. If you are an employee, your boss controls you to improve your performance.

When you are a customer, you must let the store, restaurant or business control you so you get what you want. When you are a medical patient, your health depends on letting doctors and nurses control you. As a citizen, you can be part of an orderly society when you let government representatives take control.

Husbands and wives must give and accept control from each other. Parents need to let their children control them at times. Even managers must let employees control them when it is right for the group.

You happily accept control when you know it is for your benefit. Positive control moves you in a positive direction. You end up with more money, success and joy than if you tried to keep control a one-way street.

We all need to give and receive control to get the most from life.

Five Steps to Boosting Self-Confidence and Control

"The whole feeling of self-confidence and competence actually derives from one's ability to control or leave uncontrolled the various items and people in his surroundings." -- L. Ron Hubbard

1. Take a look at all your areas of worry and stress. Make a list of the situations in which you feel a lack of confidence or competence. Include all aspects of your job or life in which you need better control. List your concerns down the left side of a page. Leave room next to each problem to write solutions.

2. Now check if some of these problems are far outside your zone of operation. Last week's article, "Taking Control, Part Four" addressed the need to stop trying to control these problems. Write, "Stop trying to control this" next to each of these. You can still have some influence on these matters if you wish, but if it is not your responsibility to control it, stop trying.

3. For the remaining problems, ask yourself if you should be letting someone else control you somehow. If so, write what types of control you need to accept, even encourage, from others. Plan to tell them.

4. With the remaining problems, write if the problem is with you starting something, changing something or stopping something. This was covered in "Taking Control, Part Three."

Then write down what you could do. How could you start it or change it or stop it? What else could you do?

5. Carry out your plan for each problem. Repeat as needed.

For more information about taking better control of your career, finances, business, or even your life, read Problems of Work by L. Ron Hubbard.
Copyright © 2003 TipsForSuccess.org. All rights reserved. Grateful acknowledgment is made to L. Ron Hubbard Library for permission to reproduce selections from the copyrighted works of L. Ron Hubbard. Programmed in the United States.