How to Kill the Green-eyed Monster
How to Boost Your Personal Power and Command of Life
How to Get Anything You Want

How to Kill the Green-eyed Monster

Nothing can ruin a relationship or marriage faster than jealously. Jealousy creates anxiety, anger, loneliness, hate, fear. No one thinks clearly when jealous.

Having a relationship with a jealous person is tough. The jealous person acts untrusting or unworthy. Jealousy makes the person unattractive, even repulsive.

No one wants a jealous mate and no one likes being jealous. So what causes jealousy?

Jealousy is the largest factor in breaking up marriages. Jealousy comes about because of the insecurity of the jealous person and the jealousy may or may not have foundation. This person is afraid of hidden communication lines and will do anything to try to uncover them.” — L. Ron Hubbard
When you are jealous, a line of communication is going on with your spouse or lover that is hidden from you. The mystery causes the pain. If you witnessed your spouse’s communication line, so it was not hidden from you, you would not feel jealous.

Hidden communication lines or mysteries make you think of questions. “Will she find someone she likes better than me?” “Is he having an affair?” “Is she going to leave me?” “Does he think I’m unattractive?”

When you are jealous, the mystery makes you assume the worst. “Maybe he’ll fall in love with his cute receptionist and leave me.” “She’s going to lunch with her old boyfriend because she’s still attracted to him.” “He’ll come home and tell me he wants a divorce.”

So how do you handle your feelings of jealousy? How do you deal with a spouse or boyfriend/girlfriend who is jealous?

Communication is the root of marital success from which a strong union can grow, and non-communication is the rock on which the ship will bash out her keel*.” — L. Ron Hubbard

If you are jealous, you need to communicate. You need to stop assuming the worst and ask questions. Communicate your feelings so you can work out solutions.

Bob says to his wife, “I don’t want to feel this jealously. I want to get rid of it by asking you a question, okay? Good. So are you attracted to Joe?”

His wife says, “Heavens no! Joe just wanted some help with his son. I love YOU like crazy!”

Bang! The hidden communication is revealed. The mystery is resolved. Bob feels much better.

If Bob doesn’t communicate, his wife’s communication with Joe make Bob jealous, afraid and angry. Their marriage suffers.

If your mate is jealous, make sure you have no hidden lines of communication. “Would you like to read this letter from Jill?” “Can you meet with Joe to help with his son?”

Use communication to resolve the problem. For example, you notice Marcia is acting upset and not talking. You ask yourself, “What communication line might be hidden from Marcia?” You realize she’s been acting annoyed ever since you started working for an attractive female boss.

, have I told you about my new boss?” Marcia jumps up and now wants to talk. You communicate the facts and remove the mystery. Marcia is cheerful and wants to go to a movie.

As well as using communication to resolve mysteries, communicate your feelings for your spouse or boyfriend/girlfriend. Tell him or her how you feel. Express your love. Show your affection.

Resolve the mysteries of the past. Discuss your feelings in the present. Make plans for the future. Because of communication, your relationship will be a big success.

L. Ron Hubbard writes, “Jealousy comes about because of the insecurity of the jealous person. . . .” Mr. Hubbard discovered the causes of insecurity which we’ll cover in a future email message.

* keel: The main structural part of a ship that goes from bow to stern (front to back).

Click here to read L. Ron Hubbard's article, "Two Rules for Happy Living."
How to Boost Your Personal Power and Command of Life

You are about to read about one of the most effective self-improvement tools ever discovered. This one technique can do more for your mental strength, your job performance and your overall competence than dozens of self-help books or motivational seminars.

This simple formula eliminates self criticism, fear and stress. It is applicable to any situation and works every time. You can use it repeatedly without limitation.

L. Ron Hubbard discovered the KRC Triangle in 1972.

THE K-R-C TRIANGLE”

The points are K for KNOWLEDGE, R for RESPONSIBILITY and C for CONTROL.”

It is difficult to be responsible for something or control something unless you have KNOWLEDGE of it.”

It is folly to try to control something or even know something without RESPONSIBILITY.”

It is hard to fully know something or be responsible for something over which you have no CONTROL, otherwise the result can be an overwhelm.”

Little by little one can make anything go right by

INCREASING KNOWLEDGE . . . ,”

INCREASING RESPONSIBILITY . . . ,”

INCREASING CONTROL . . . .”

If one sorts out any situation one finds oneself in on this basis, he will generally succeed.”

y inching up each corner of the KRC triangle bit by bit, ignoring the losses and making the wins firm, a being at length discovers his power and command of life.”

— L. Ron Hubbard
KRC TRIANGLE APPLICATION RECOMMENDATIONS
Select a problem and write it down or type it into your computer. Then write or type the answers for each of these five steps.

1. Raise the Knowledge corner.

How can you increase your knowledge about the problem? What do you need to learn about it? What should you study to better understand the problem?

2. Raise the Responsibility corner.

How can you take more ownership for the problem? What parts of the problem are you responsible for? Can you accept responsibility for the parts you did not cause?

3. Raise the Control corner.

What part of the problem can you control? How could you take a little more control for the other parts?

4. Ignore the losses.

If you focus on losses or failures, they get bigger and more overwhelming. You then pull in even more losses. So find ways to ignore these losses.

If ignoring losses is difficult, try writing them down on a sheet of paper and then destroy the paper. Shift your attention. Stop talking or thinking about them. Avoid people who bring them up. Move on.

If you catch yourself dwelling on losses, knock it off. Put your attention elsewhere. Stop talking about losses. And learn to ignore the failures of others as well.

5. Make the wins firm.

What can you do to make your successes firm? How can you solidify them?

Maybe you can write them down or put them on a wall. Keep a record of your wins. Talk about them to everyone you can. Celebrate them.

Also, make a habit of finding and focusing on the wins of others. The more attention you put on success, the more success you get. Some of your answers to these questions are easy, enjoyable steps. Do those right now! You will see a sudden improvement in the problem.

Then do the tougher steps you wrote. Once you start on them you will find they are not so tough after all.

If following these five steps does not completely solve the problem, repeat the steps until the problem is gone forever.

As well as solving problems for you, these steps will start to bring out the best in you. You will discover a new sense of command over life that you have always had, but never used.

Use the KRC Triangle to release the real powerhouse you know that you are.
How to Get Anything You Want
You can get anything you want if you do three things: NAME or describe exactly what you need to produce, WANT that result or product, and ORGANIZE to get that result or product.

This article addresses NAME. Future articles will go over WANT and ORGANIZE.
"IF PRODUCTION IS NOT OCCURRING, THE ABILITY TO NAME THE PRODUCT IS PROBABLY MISSING." — L. Ron Hubbard
David, a highly-successful business owner, was having a difficult time finding a new wife. Because of his status, wealth, charm and social connections, dozens of single women were attracted to him. Yet after a year of dating, David could not find his new mate. "I can’t decide who I want to be with. It’s driving me crazy!"

So during a plane flight I suggested he describe, in writing, every characteristic he wanted in a wife. After an hour of work, he became very excited about his list of qualities. ". . . good sense of humor, likes to entertain, wants a big family, lets me eat snacks in bed . . ." He said, "As soon as I meet her, we’re getting married!"

I then asked, "What kind of husband would that perfect wife want? List this guy’s qualities." David said, "Well, I’m not at all like this guy." David then adjusted the wife qualities list until he felt she would like him. "Now I know why my last marriage failed. I can change. Now I know who I really want."

Four weeks later he met his mate. He recognized her immediately as he had named exactly what he was looking for. They have been married for 16 years and have four children.

The more specific you are, the more likely you will get what you need and want.

For example, if the boss tells a staff member, "Get busy," you will see lots of action, but may not see any products. The staff member accomplishes more when the boss says, “File that stack of papers and make these 40 calls today.”

If a car sales manager says, "Sell some cars today, gosh darn it!" the salesperson may get desperate and push all customers too hard. The salesperson has a better chance of producing if the sales manager names the specific products he wants: "Today, you need to call 20 of your old prospects, help 10 walk-on prospects, take at least five test drives and get one sale."

Parents who name products with their kids have happier, more productive children. For example, "Clean up this mess!" is not nearly as effective as "Pick up all the toys on the rug and put them in your toy box over there, right now."

If you push yourself to succeed without naming what you specifically want to accomplish, you get frantic. You waste time and energy going from failure to failure. You say, “I just can’t find the right _______.”

Naming products you want to produce or objectives you want to accomplish is extremely effective in any area: earning money, finding real estate, hiring employees, paying off bills, funding a retirement plan, starting or running a successful business and so on.

If you are looking for a house, a job or a spouse, naming the specifics before you start saves you hours of time and effort. When the right house, job or spouse comes along, you don’t need to think it over for long. You can take immediate action.

For example, naming your product is especially important to your financial success. If your objective is "to be wealthy" or "have enough money to retire when I’m 60," you will most likely not get it because your product is vague. You do better when you get as specific as possible. Examples:

"Pay cash for all purchases and pay off my two credit card balances, total of $13,411, by December 31, 2003, by paying the minimums plus an extra $800 per month."

"Find ways to raise my monthly income so I’m earning $10,000 per month by the end of this year."

"Save $15,000 per year and earn 10% interest per year on the savings, which adds up to my goal of $2 million when I turn 60."
Ten Steps for Naming What You Want
1. Think of something you need or want.

2. Describe this objective or accomplishment as specifically as possible.

3. Make a list of all of the aspects.

4. Note which aspects are vital, desirable and optional. List them based on priority.

5. Include a date when you want to have it located or accomplished.

6. Read your list every day.

7. Constantly refine the list to make it more specific.

8. Every time you come close to getting what you want, but then find out it is not it, expand your list to include the features you truly want or do not want.

9. If you discover your objective or accomplishment is unrealistic, revise your description.

10. Persist with these steps until you get what you need or want.
Copyright © 2003 TipsForSuccess.org. All rights reserved. Grateful acknowledgment is made to L. Ron Hubbard Library for permission to reproduce selections from the copyrighted works of L. Ron Hubbard. Programmed in the United States.