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Your Biggest Source of Trouble and Anxiety (Part One) |
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Your Biggest Source of Trouble and Anxiety (Part One)
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| The biggest barrier to a successful career is not a lack of opportunities, the job market or your city. The greatest problem in business is not marketing, other companies or the economy. The greatest source of stress in life is not money or the weather or any physical thing. The biggest source of business problems, career difficulties and personal stress is other people. Specifically, antisocial people—people who are devious, mean-spirited, cruel, hostile or negative. People who oppose you, treat you with disrespect and cause you trouble. For example, one of the most famous antisocial personalities was Adolf Hitler. Hitler loved children and pets. He was a vegetarian who neither smoked nor drank. He was kind and considerate to the ladies, secretaries and chauffeurs. Most people thought he was a nice guy. You would never suspect he organized the deaths of millions of people. Antisocial personalities can be doctors, lawyers, politicians, business leaders, police officers, newspaper reporters, employees, men, women, old, young . . . anyone. They can be family members, spouses and colleagues of any type. You probably know more than one antisocial person. When the antisocial is openly nasty or critical of you, it is easy to see how they can ruin your life. What is worse are antisocial persons who hide their true intentions. These types are the most destructive as it’s hard to see who is stabbing you in the back. When you handle an antisocial so he or she can no longer affect you, you feel great! You feel stable, more confident and in better control. Becoming a success is much, much easier. So how can you recognize antisocial people? They Speak in Generalities When we trace the cause of a failing business, we will inevitably discover somewhere in its ranks the antisocial personality hard at work.” It is important then to examine and list the attributes of the antisocial personality. Influencing as it does the daily lives of so many, it well behooves* decent people to become better informed on this subject. The antisocial personality has the following attributes: . He or she speaks only in very broad generalities. They say . . .’ ‘Everybody thinks . . .’ ‘Everyone knows . . .’ and such expressions are in continual use, particularly when imparting rumor.” — L. Ron Hubbard (*behooves: to be necessary or proper for) Have you ever been to a meeting when someone said, "We’re all having troubles because of the economy," “People don’t like anyone who’s too successful” or "Everyone in this area is having a rough time"? These are generalities. Whenever you hear a statement that starts, "Everyone says . . . “ or “All the citizens feel . . . “ or "The employees think . . . ,” you must perk your ears. You have just heard the start of a generality. Now if the generality is a good message, you can relax. “Everyone thinks you are doing a great job!” However, if the message is negative, the speaker is pointing a knife at your back. “No one believes your little act.” “Everyone thinks the pay is too low.” “No one wears their hair like that any more.” One reason the news media is such a poor influence on society is their generalities. Just listen to the news or read a newspaper and you see generalities. “America was shocked and saddened . . .” “Sources revealed that . . .” “Critics asked why the President said . . .” The newspaper reporter would not be as upsetting if he or she was specific. “My daughter asked me why the President said . . .” Recommendation Mr. Hubbard describes the best way to handle these generalized statements: When asked, ‘Who is everybody . . .’ it normally turns out to be one source and from this source the antisocial person has manufactured what he or she pretends is the whole opinion of the whole society.” Examples of how to deal with generalized statements: You: "So Jim, you say no one likes this financial policy? Who exactly?” Jim: “Well . . . no one in particular. But, my mother said she wouldn’t like it if she were here . . . .” You: “So Mary, you say everyone thinks I make too much money. Who exactly?” Mary: "Oh, uh, well, Mrs. Jones implied it . . . and, uh, well you know, lots of people.” You: "Who else?” Mary: "I don’t know, I can’t remember. I guess that’s all.” You: "Mrs. Jones, you say everyone thinks my wife is irresponsible? Who says that?” Every time you hear a generality this week, ask “Who exactly?” Don’t believe “everyone” feels a certain way, believes a certain thing or agrees with the antisocial. Social Personality The world depends on the social personality. Constructive people make life better for those around them. Social personalities are opposite of the antisocial personality, such as how they communicate. . The social personality is specific in relating circumstances. ‘Joe Jones said . . . ‘ ’The Star Newspaper reported . . . ‘ and gives sources of data where important or possible. He may use the generality of ‘they’ or ‘’people’ but seldom in connection with attributing statements or opinions of an alarming nature.” — L. Ron Hubbard For example, the antisocial may say, “Everyone is worried you are making too many changes.” The social person would say, “Bob and Dorothy are worried you are making too many changes.” The antisocial might say, “Everyone thinks it may be too soon for you to be back from the hospital as you were so sick” or “They say your dinner is almost as good as a restaurant.” However, the social person would say, “Everyone is happy you’re back from the hospital” or “They really liked your dinner.” We will cover other characteristics of the antisocial and social personalities in future articles (in two or three weeks). |
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| Your Biggest Source of Stress and Anxiety (Part Two) |
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| In a study conducted by members of the Los Angeles Police Department, they determined 2% of the population was actually dangerous and harmful to society; that this minority was behind most crime. L. Ron Hubbard puts the percentage of antisocials at 2.5% with another 17.5% of the population influenced so heavily by the antisocial that they begin to act like antisocial personalities. On a world-wide scale, some antisocials are like Stalin or Hitler, the mafia or terrorists. In your life, antisocials can be your boss, your wife, your customers, your coworkers, your lawyer, accountant, auto mechanic, employee, mother-in-law . . . anyone. Recognizing the 20% who cause 80% of our troubles is the first step to handling them. Part One covered the first characteristic of the antisocial personality: they speak in generalities. For example, “Everyone thinks you are too inexperienced,” “No one likes what you said” or “America is terrified.” The second and third characteristics of an antisocial person are based on the nature of their conversations. Bad News Such a person deals mainly in bad news, critical or hostile remarks . . .” It is notable that there is no good news or complimentary remark passed on by such a person.” — L. Ron Hubbard Someone has some good news and some bad news. A rational or social personality tells you both pieces of news. The antisocial personality passes only the bad news. Examples: Social: “Mrs. Jones, we received the results of your medical tests. Two are negative, which is good news. The sample for the third test was lost at the lab. We’re very sorry. The doctor would like to do it again if you could come in today or tomorrow.” Antisocial: “Mrs. Jones, we received the results of your medical tests and there’s a problem. The doctor wants you to repeat one of the tests as soon as possible. I have an opening next month.” Social: “While she didn’t complete the project by noon like we wanted, she stayed up all night and fixed some problems we didn’t know about. She’ll be done by five tonight.” Antisocial: “We knew she couldn’t complete the project like we wanted.” Social: “Boy, I loved that chicken dish. The time you spent to prepare it was well worth it!” Antisocial: “So this was your fancy chicken dish? You should try my mother’s. Now that’s good chicken!” Social Personality You can use the opposite characteristic to improve your personality. . The social personality is eager to relay good news and reluctant to relay bad. He may not even bother to pass along criticism when it doesn’t matter.” He is more interested in making another feel liked or wanted than disliked by others and tends to err toward reassurance rather than toward criticism.” — L. Ron Hubbard Worsened or Invented Bad News . The antisocial personality alters, to worsen, communication when he or she relays a message or news. Good news is stopped and only bad news, often embellished, is passed along. Such a person also pretends to pass on ‘bad news’ which is in actual fact invented.” — L. Ron Hubbard Just passing on bad news is not enough for antisocials. They prefer to make it sound worse. They will even make up some bad news if the truth is not bad enough. Neighborhood gossipers, politicians and most news reporters are good examples. She seems to have a different man’s car in front of her house every night.” Unlike my political opponent, I will not tolerate child pornography!” Many questions exist about his sudden wealth.” Have you ever watched the nightly news and felt nothing good was happening in the world? Do you ever feel optimistic after reading the front page of a newspaper? A few years ago, CBS reported, “HUNDREDS FEARED DEAD IN FLOOD” when referring to a storm that flooded parts of Northern California—two people died. CNN reported, “THE TALIBAN SENDS 300,000 TROOPS TO BORDERS,” when in turned out to be fewer than 10,000. In fact, you reduce your stress and feel happier if you stop reading newspapers, stop watching the news and ignore people who pass on bad news. Try it! Antisocial personalities are horrible relay points. They ruin reputations, create chaos and start fights. For example, the boss tells an employee, "Doug, please tell Pam she’s doing a great job and can leave early today, if she’d like.” If Doug is an antisocial or acting like an antisocial, he says, "Pam, the boss wants you to clock out and go home right now. He seemed pretty unhappy.” So Pam says, "I don’t understand . . . I guess I’d better leave.” Doug then comes and tells you, “Pam is confused. She didn’t finish her work and just walked out when I told her what you said. I think she’s on her period.” Unless you and Pam discover the truth about Doug, your working relationship will suffer. The strain will cause internal stress, a fight or worse. On a broader scale, representatives of one nation might pass exaggerations and lies between two other nations and thus start a war. The Southerners hate you. They say you are evil. They plan to poison your water supply.” The Northerners hate you. They say you are evil. They plan to poison your water supply.” After several months of this, the South and North start a war. Marriages are also ruined by antisocial lies and alterations. Chris lies to the husband and says, “Don’t tell your wife I said this, but she and Pete have been getting awfully friendly.” Chris then lies to the wife, “Don’t tell your husband I said this, but his daily hugs with Sharon are getting pretty intimate.” Even though there is nothing going on, the husband and wife suddenly suspect a problem and start fighting. The Opposite Characteristic . A social personality passes communication without much alteration and if deleting anything tends to delete injurious matters. He does not like to hurt people’s feelings.” — L. Ron Hubbard |
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Your Biggest Source of Trouble and Anxiety--Part Three |
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You probably know a person or two who appears kind and polite. Who convince you they are on your side. Yet who make your work and life difficult. This is the antisocial person. If You Think You Might Be an Antisocial Person, Don't Worry "Self-criticism is a luxury the antisocial cannot afford." "Only the sane, well-balanced person tries to correct his conduct." - L. Ron Hubbard For example, a father finds a broken vase and asks his 7-year-old son, "Who broke the vase? Did you break it?" His son says, "No, I didn't!" The father gets angry and spanks him for breaking a vase and then lying about it. His wife comes into the room with a broom and says, "I need to clean up the vase I broke." The social person would say, "Son, I'm sorry for not believing you. I'll try to be more trusting in the future. I owe you a big pizza and ice cream, okay?" The antisocial personality might say, "The kid deserved the spanking for something else he probably did. You need to show these kids who's boss." Just about anyone can be made to act like an antisocial if he or she is pushed hard enough by someone else. The key is whether or not the person changes back to being a social personality. If you are a social person and want to improve your conduct, you will. One simple approach is to act the opposite of an antisocial. 1. Avoid using generalized statements. 2. Relay good news more quickly than bad news; even block criticism and irrelevant bad news. 3. Make sure your facts are as accurate as possible. You and those around you will be happier as a result. |
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Your Biggest Source of Trouble and Anxiety (Part Four)
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| As we have covered in Parts 1-3, the greatest barrier to your success is not the economy, your work habits or your opportunities. Your greatest source of stress is not money or the weather or any physical thing. The biggest source of business problems, career difficulties and personal stress is antisocial people-people who are devious, mean-spirited, cruel, hostile or negative. People who openly or secretly oppose you, cut you down and cause you trouble. When you handle or disconnect from an antisocial person, you feel better. You relax. You succeed more than you fail. You have less to fight on your way to your goals. The first four ways to identify an antisocial person were covered in Parts 1-3. All three parts are posted at our new website at www.tipsforsuccess.org/success-articles.htm. Here are two more ways to identify an antisocial person. Antisocial Person's Friends, Family and Co-workers While the antisocial will not change or improve his or her behavior, his or her associates can improve and succeed. Yet as long as they are connected to the antisocial, their improvement is temporary. They get better and then get worse. They are happy and then depressed. Such people are on a roller coaster ride. "5. Surrounding such a personality we find cowed or ill associates or friends who, when not driven actually insane, are yet behaving in a crippled manner in life, failing, not succeeding." - L. Ron Hubbard Like most people, you have good intentions and try to improve your life. Your statistics in life go up, life gets better. But then you talk to an antisocial. He or she makes you feel like you are failing. "Everyone will think you're egotistical if you buy that Mercedes." "I'm sure that because you make more money than all of us, the IRS will audit you." "After your life falls apart, don't blame me! I've done my best to help you, but you just won't listen to me anymore." If you believe these statements, you may lose interest or get a headache and your production statistics drop. Eventually, you fight your way out of the mental turbulence and start to succeed again . . . for a while. Up and down like a roller coaster. The stress of such situations is extreme. The stress can make you ill. As long as you are associated with the antisocial, you may not fully recover from an illness. Your family can also suffer the effects of an antisocial. Instead of a safe, comfortable home life, he or she makes your family uncommunicative, negative or bitter. The opposite is true with a social person. "The friends and associates of a social personality tend to be well, happy and of good morale." - L. Ron Hubbard Mental stability is also a concern with those associated with antisocials. "The largest number of insane are insane because of such antisocial connections and do not recover easily for the same reason." "Unjustly we seldom see the antisocial personality actually in an institution. Only his `friends' and family are there." - L. Ron Hubbard Do you know someone who drives you crazy? Wrong Targets |
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Copyright © 2003 TipsForSuccess.org. All rights reserved. Grateful acknowledgment is made to L. Ron Hubbard Library for permission to reproduce selections from the copyrighted works of L. Ron Hubbard. Programmed in the United States.
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